Culture Vs. Identity: The Strong Black Woman Schema Cuts Deep
Image credit: Tarzine Jackson/Pexels
In African homes, the woman is usually seen first. And many might disagree, but the expectations that the media, society, and family place on a woman are more than two-fold what the man (her partner) has to shoulder, assuming he is even present. Stats say about 30% of African American households are headed by a woman with no husband present, compared with about 9% of white households.
And so, we have had for generations, mothers teach their daughters to wear many hats, be emotionally available (and regulated), stoic, and in control, the unwavering pillar that holds the home together, but they fail to emphasize the importance of mental wellbeing, self-compassion, and vulnerability,
It’s not just Black or African women. The entire Black race is cocooned in strength and pride, especially because we fought through slavery and won to be here. We like to believe that we are much stronger (physically and emotionally), dogged, resilient, spiritual, and morally grounded than other races. But we forget that we are also human—flawed and vulnerable—and that our vulnerability is not a dent that we must disguise but a mark that we need to wear with courage.
Listen, we mustn’t repress our true feelings and emotions even if our cultural beliefs disapprove of them. Our skin colour doesn’t make us immune to emotional stress or mental health problems. We must speak up when we are not fine and realize that it is okay not to be okay.
Internalizing and accepting the Strong Black Woman schema will create a false sense of happiness and stop you from practicing self-love and acceptance; you must decide today to live life the way you want, without fear of judgment.
Mental Health Among Black Women
Black adults (especially Black women) are more likely than White adults to report feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness, and that everything is an effort, all or most of the time [*], but women have been said to be less likely to seek help.
One study revealed that SBW schema is linked to depression, loneliness, anxiety, maladaptive perfectionism, and adverse physical health outcomes such as migraines and cardiovascular diseases.
Stigma Around Mental Health In Black Communities
Having survived years of slavery and adversity, Blacks and Africans around the world hate to identify with any sign of weakness, and mental health is one of them. Mental health issues are usually regarded as a sign of moral or spiritual weakness.
In my family, mental health wasn’t a conversation-worthy topic. My parents taught us that anything that had to do with psychologists was a White man's problem, that the only therapist we’d ever need is God or the priest, and strongly advised us not to be hoodwinked by the enemy (aka White people).
I was misdiagnosed with depression at age 19 and didn’t tell my mother until I was 31, while I was dismissing the notion and confirming my suspicions of having ADHD. I remember the feeling of dread the moment my doctor, at the time, spoke the words clinical depression. Alarms blasted in my head as panic built inside me with the words, “I have the White people disease!” and “I can’t tell anyone in my family.”
I remember what my biggest conundrum at the time was: I have an answer to what the issue could be, but do I believe it? If I believe it to be true, will that make the rest of my people look bad, and does it make me look naive? Am I using this as an excuse for myself?
At the time, I couldn’t come up with any great answers, so I suffered silently and alone, to my detriment.
Mental health is still an unacceptable topic in many Black homes today. I’m aware that many Black people don’t even consider mental health-related conditions as illnesses that require treatment, and they think of people who suffer from them as crazy, violent, cursed, or weak.
The stigma and judgment on mental health is the primary reason why Blacks or Africans shy from the idea of seeking mental health care.
Easy-to-Implement Solutions
I will be proposing strategies and solutions in two parts; one is addressed to the Government, mental health organizations, and mental health care providers, while the other is my note to YOU. Let’s go.
Part 1: To The Big Guys
Increase the number of culturally competent providers
Less than 2 percent of the American Psychological Association (APA) Members are Blacks or African Americans, compared to a whopping 59 percent of Whites [*]. Learning about this underrepresentation, any Black person would fear that mental health care practitioners are culturally incompetent to understand and treat their mental issues. And we are right to be afraid.
The American Psychiatric Association (APA) tendered an apology early this year to its members, patients, and the general public for staying silent and indirectly enabling discriminatory actions within their organization and victimization and racist practices in the treatment of Blacks, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) since its inception 177 years ago. And they made promises to ‘develop anti-racist policies that promote equity in mental health for all.’
I don’t want to think that these two organizations intend to create equality in mental health care when the voices of their very few Black or African American members are easily drowned out when their Board members are predominantly White.
To effect a change in the mental health system for the good of BIPOC, mental health organizations should recruit and mentor culturally competent persons and make it easier for Black therapists to register and assume leadership positions.
Having a greater number of minority psychologists and therapists to deliver culturally sensitive care, educate, and empathize with BIPOC will help reduce stigma, increase the number of people willing to seek mental health treatment, and improve health outcomes.
2. Sanitize the healthcare system
I was deeply saddened to learn that a growing number of soon-to-be medical doctors nurture the notion that Black skin is thicker and less sensitive to pain than White skin, and because of that, treat Blacks less urgently. I’m certain that this school of thought is responsible for the delayed delivery of mental health services to Blacks who are courageous enough to seek help.
It will make a big difference if workshops and seminars are organized to re-educate doctors, interns, nurses, and undergraduate medical and psychology students about the importance of treating all patients equally, irrespective of their skin colour.
Part 2: To You, Dearest
Seek help
It is important to have close friends you can confide in when you feel sad, lonely, anxious, or depressed. Contrary to the opinion of every strong Black woman out there, being strong isn’t keeping silent and sucking up pain and misery, but having the courage to seek solutions or comfort from another.
If you need to seek professional help and don’t know where or how to begin, please see Therapy For Black Girls or Innopysch to easily find (or virtual-meet) therapists of colour in your area. And if you need any financial assistance for seeking therapy, please see The Loveland Foundation.
2. Prioritize your mental health
There’s so much you can do to support your emotional and mental health, but to cultivate a self-care lifestyle, you would have to be selfish without entertaining feelings of guilt. I say this because one thing we women strive not to be is SELFISH.
Say to yourself: “I can’t pour from an empty cup. To take care of my kids, spouse, parents, family, and grow my career, I need to love and care for myself first.”
Here are some self-care practices that will help protect and boost your mental health:
Get up to 7 hours of sleep every day
Eat healthily. I recommend a plant-rich diet.
Increase your engagement in light-to-vigorous exercises and non-exercise physical activities
Delegate minor tasks
Set boundaries and learn to say NO
Try deep breathing exercises
Try meditation or yoga
Pick up a new hobby
Go for a spa date with friends
Plan a self-care solo vacay, etc.
3. Raise awareness
You can reduce the stigma around mental health by enlightening the people in your social circle about its importance and opening their minds to see how their beliefs may be causing them to repress their internal struggles.
Not only will you be helping the Black community, but you will also be creating an environment where both you and your friend(s) can freely open up and support each other’s mental health journey.